[I've saved the headers because they show that I didn't write this.
Yes, I know it doesn't belong in here if I didn't write it; sue me, it
relates to me directly, so it's worth it. Nyeah.]
Path: vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!isr1023.urh.uiuc.edu!hardwidg
From: hardwidg@isr1023.urh.uiuc.edu (Mark E. Hardwidge)
Newsgroups: uiuc.general
Subject: Re: [WILL-AM-FM-TV] Visit our Homepage!
Date: 4 Apr 1996 23:35:03 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
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Brian J. Swetland (swetland@uiuc.edu) wrote:
: Who is Mark Hardwidge, and why should we care if he dislikes Skirvin?
'Who is Mark Hardwidge'???? You don't know?!?! He is the keeper
of the anti-Tim Skirvin FAQ, that's who he is!
There Is No Need For Tim Skirvin
the anti.tim.skirvin FAQ
maintained by Mark E. Hardwidge
last updated 04/04/96
This document is the Official List of Questions Asked Frequently
about Tim Skirvin. The denizens of uiuc.general aren't always appreciative
when the same things come up over and over again; this ought to answer
half of 'em, and the rest are ignorable anyway. Before posting, read
this. Thanks.
Contributors: Mark E. Hardwidge (hardwidg@uiuc.edu)
Table of Contents
===== == ========
A) Who is Tim Skirvin?
B) Why does he post all this crap all the time?
C) So wait, he thinks he is funny or smart or something, but he
isn't. How can we teach him the error of his ways?
D) What happened to uiuc.general opinion of him?
E) I missed one of his stupid posts. Where can I get a copy?
F) Why are all his posts so stupid?
G) What's CCSO's problem with him?
H) Here's his Social Security Number...
I) Why don't he just GET A LIFE?
Y) Where can I find the latest version of this FAQ?
Z) How do I contribute to this wonderfully crafted FAQ?
AA) Why did I rip this format off from him?
BB) Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Questions
=========
A) Who is Tim Skirvin?
Well, this is a complicated question, because I doubt any really
people have ever interacted with him. We can learn a little from our
friend the internet, however.
>ph timothy skirvin return all
----------------------------------------
alias: tskirvin
name: skirvin timothy m
email: tskirvin@math.uiuc.edu
curriculum: eng1
phone: (217) 332-3315
home_phone: (217) 332-3315
permanent_phone: (217) 351-6273
address: urh allen 262
: 1005 w gregory dr
: urbana, il 61801
home_address: urh allen 262
: 1005 w gregory dr
: urbana, il 61801
permanent_address: 801 s prairie
: champaign, il 61820
nickname: tskirvin skirv scurvy skirve scurvey
: complain
: daemons
department: Electrical and Computer Engineering
title: Computer Consultant
other: Home System: arh0062.urh.uiuc.edu
www: http://arh0062.urh.uiuc.edu/
birthday: November 17, 1977
high_school: University High School
type: person phone student
source: student
created: 1/1995
----------------------------------------
That's who he is. As far as most people are concerned, however,
he is just some kid who posts on uiuc.general and similar groups. He
thinks he is really cool, and really smart. Unfortunately, he has not
shown himself to be either.
He is most famous for the uiuc.general 'FAQ', which he posts every
couple of minutes to uiuc.general. Although it may be a good idea to
have a FAQ, there is almost zero useful content in his 'FAQ'. I do not
suggest looking at it.
B) Why does he post all this crap all the time?
As I touched on, he posts it because he doesn't _know_ that it is
crap. He thinks it is funny and it makes him look smarter.
C) So wait, he thinks he is funny or smart or something, but he
isn't. How can we teach him the error of his ways?
Well, there are three ways to go about this. First, there are
illegal things. I do not recommend any of these, because, hey, it's
just Usenet, and if you take it too seriously, you have more problems
than TS. I repeat, no illegal or disruptive actions are appropriate,
no matter how much fun or satisfying they may be. Second, you can
insult him on uiuc.general. This seems to be a very popular choice.
Third, you can try to ignore him. If no one _ever_ responded to his
posts, he would probably catch on and stop. However, there will
always be a few people who choose option two, so those who choose
option three will probably never succeed.
D) What happened to uiuc.general opinion of him?
Well, the first 100 times he posted 'there is no need to refer us
to your lame homepage', it was funny, maybe. But then he just kept
doing it, over and over and over. Sometimes, someone would post
something about it. Months ago, it would usually end there. But now,
you see longer and longer strings of people agreeing with the Skirvin
haters. The irony is that since almost no one who reads uiuc.general
knows him, or has every seen him, if he would just quit posting his
crappy 'FAQ', or refering us to it, people wouldn't have a problem with
him.
E) I missed one of his stupid posts. Where can I get a copy?
This is very easy to answer. Every one of his posts is _almost
exactly the same_. Just wait until the next post, and then you will
have a 99% accurate copy. As for a 100% exact copy, that would be
harder, because I doubt anyone keeps his posts. But before you go
looking, ask yourself 'do I really care _this_ much?'.
F) Why are all his posts so stupid?
This is currently unknow, although each person has his or her own
theory. Some even wonder if he could make a non-stupid post. I, for
one, hope that he can, maybe even before he graduates, if we are
lucky.
G) What's CCSO's problem with him?
They don't seem to have a problem with him. I don't know why
though, because they have problems with a lot of stuff that bothers me
a lot more...
H) Here's his Social Security Number...
I don't know it; sorry. If you do, you can do all sorts of mean
things to him. I really wouldn't suggest doing this though. But if
you do, be sure to post the details to uiuc.general.
I) Why don't he just GET A LIFE?
Some people have a lot of trouble with that sort of thing. UIUC
is a big change from the impressive University High School where he
used to go. Perhaps he is shy or something, or maybe people meet him
and think 'hey, this is the guy who posts all that crap to
uiuc.general, I wouldn't want to hang out with him'.
Y) Where can I find the latest version of this FAQ?
http://isr1023.urh.uiuc.edu/~hardwidg/anti.tim.skirvin.FAQ.html
Z) How do I contribute to this wonderfully crafted FAQ?
email me at hardwidg@isr1023.urh.uiuc.edu.
AA) Why did I rip this format off from him?
Just to be more insulting. Well, that and _maybe_ I can get the
point across to him, but I doubt that.
BB) Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Yes. There is. First of all, don't pay attention to Tim Skirvin.
Second, if you are Tim Skirvin, please write your posts with less than
80 lines, preferably about 0. Third, don't mail me and tell me I am
mean, or something goofy, because, hey, Tim's been asking for this for
months. And finally, remember the important rule, "If you are Tim
Skirvin, it is a VERY good idea to refer people to your lame 'FAQ' while
telling them not to refer people to their lame homepage."
--
Mark E. Hardwidge hardwidg@uiuc.edu http://isr1023.urh.uiuc.edu/~hardwidg